strangers in a strange land.

a few days ago, one of dave's coworkers said to me, "i haven't found my rhythm in shanghai." and i don't think it could have been better put. no matter where you move in life, when you first get there, you feel unsettled and a bit edgy until you find your rhythm. the problem is when you get too comfortable somewhere, you get in a rut. this is how it works for me anyway. i know people like to be comfortable, to settle in, and they get used to life as they know it. but that is actually aversive to me, and a bit boring. i think life is too short to stay in one place too long. i think it makes you complacent, a bit lazy and you forget to grow and expand. just my philosophy, and everyone has theirs, but this oner drives my life.

i've met a few expats now in shanghai. they all have their stories, as to how and why they are here, what they are doing here, and most either really love it or hate it. how people have adjusted to life here is fascinating to me. we are all strangers in a strange land. but i am not just talking about expats. there are quite a few local chinese people who are not local to shanghai. china is divided up into many many provinces. as i mentioned in an earlier post, people are very nationalistic and proud of the province they come from. which means, when they come here, the shanghainese do not always welcome them and as a result, they don't ever feel like this is their home. this is a big city that many small town folk move to for jobs or schooling. i can imagine a farmer coming here hoping to look for work in the local grocery or at a vendor cart. or a young college student attending school with hundreds of students and having to live on their own for the first time. it's easy to drown in the crowd. maybe it's comparable to someone from upstate NY moving to NYC. but you can't tell when you walk around here. i must have lost my ability to discriminate but i hate to say most people here look similar. so i started staring at people on subway rides, mostly b/c there isn't much to do when you wait for your stop except listen to music, play with your phone or hand held console, or stare at people. i decided to do the latter. i decided to look for physical differences among the subway riders. i can differentiate between poor and affluent people, people with style, people who are expats (usually their fair skin alerts me to this), what people's occupations might be. but i haven't yet been able to distinguish the people that come from different provinces b/c i am guessing there are some. some people look straight up mongolian, with their olive skin, small eyes and nomadic looks, some look like they came from northern china who are typically taller, with taller noses and fair skinned. i wonder if they can tell i'm taiwanese from the OC.

going back to the topic of adjustment and finding the SH rhythm, i get the feeling dave's coworker isn't adjusting so well. from what i've been told, he's an ex-marine, african american, in his mid 30s, who makes a ton of money, but drinks it all away. he's been here about 2 mos, originally from LA, and is in the game industry. last night apparently there was a horrible event that took place at the guy's house. he's 10 kinds of messed up and honestly i think SH is not a good place for him. he is an example of someone who is definitely not well adjusted at all. but i get the feeling he was not well adjusted in all the different places that he's lived, which apparently are many.

this is a tough place to be, whether you're local or expat. we are all strangers in a strange land. i wonder if the shanghainese feel that way too sometimes.