That will be the title of an article I hope to eventually write for a local SH magazine.
Many expats don't get the local Chinese flavor of life because they are quite insulated with their company packages, ayis, drivers, unlimited budgets, nice apartments they don't have to search and bargain for, English-speaking reps and never having to deal with sociopathic and assholey locals here who scam and bully you left and right. But one thing I am grateful for in our time here in SH is that we did get an authentic Chinese experience and this will make one fine chapter of my autobio someday. I have seen the depravity that exists in humankind, and let me tell you, it is not pretty.
I am at the tail-end of a 30+days debacle with the landlord from hell. Mind you, I have had some pretty bad landlords in the past, as I was recalling yesterday while reflecting on the situation. The question is, do I attract bad landlords, do they attract me, or do I just do very poor screening of landlords when I look for places to live? Most likely the third, I would say. But perhaps a little bit of the first 2 too.
As anyone I spoke with knows when I was apartment hunting, when I first saw the apartment, I loved it. dkf and I had just broken up and I wanted a calm, soothing place to come home to, to do my work, to enjoy the nice Fall weather. I wanted a nice feminine apartment in the French Concession, which was my favorite area in SH. When I met Jessica Wen, I knew something wasn't quite right, that she was extremely inflexible, almost OCD, picky, neurotic, overbearing, bossy, not open to any negotiation and cheaper than hell. But I ignored that instinct, or those judgment calls and decided I liked the apartment enough to tolerate her on an occasional basis. That was, until my washer broke over a month ago.
I called her to let her know the washer broke and the war began. She refused to fix it, would not let me deduct repair fees from my rent, accused me of breaking it on purpose, said it was not her responsibility as a landlord to fix it, did not fix and deal with the situation for over 30 days and mentally and verbally abused me and any of my friends that advocated for me. She was a nightmare. So 30 days later, the Whirlpool guy finally comes and decides the washer is unfixable. This angers her and she becomes more abusive and then threatening and dangerous. She verbally makes an agreement with me that if I move out at the end of the month, she will deduct one month's rent from my huge security deposit and refund the balance to me. She leaves.
But it wasn't over. An hour later, the real nightmare begins. Without warning, she comes back with 4 thugs to intimidate me and threaten me in order to get her rent money. I took the advice of my SH-nese colleague to withhold this month's rent until she resolved the washer issue; that was what sent her over the edge. She wanted her money BAD. She responded alright. Stupid me, I let them in thinking the group of people were perhaps the neighbor's friends. After I opened the door, I realized it was a throng of people including the landlord and they began following me to my front door and surrounding me. I began shouting, What do you want? Why are you here? Jessica then said she wanted her rent money. I said, didn't we already agree to that earlier? She said, well I change my mind. I told dkf who was inside the apartment what was happening. He then ran out, to where they were standing and shouted, "Go away! I will call the police!" and we both called 110. The police eventually came but were totally ineffective and scolded me and told me to pay rent. I tried to explain the situation but they were all Shanghainese and I wasn't and my Chinese just isn't elaborate enough to advocate or argue effectively. The arguing continued, the thugs continued to berate me, and eventually the cops told me I had to go down to the police station to file a report. I knew I needed a native Chinese speaker to go down there with me b/c I would not be able to explain my situation well. I frantically called my friend's lawyer friend, and my other 2 Chinese friends. I stalled as long as I could but the cops were becoming impatient. The cops eventually left and the thugs were outside waiting for me to go to the police station with them. Eventually, my dear friend's bro and his gf show up and I quickly explain the situation to him as we walk to the station. My other friend meets us at the station. And much later in the evening, my dear friend shows up to support me. It was the worst 7 hours of my life. The way disputes are dealt with in China is that police don't really do anything or mediate, they allow the two disputing parties to hash it out til both people agree, even if it takes all day. The one that is worn down quicker gives in. Though I was still in my pj's, had not eaten ALL day, was tired, worn out and traumatized, I was not willing to give up. We were at that station for 7 hours and bless my friends' hearts, they stuck by me the whole time. The main cop, Lt. Zhu, this asshole who clearly had a thing for my flirty landlord, wrote out a revised contract that would supercede the original one. By the time we signed it, it was around 8pm. I think I left my house around noon that day. My head hurt for 2 days thereafter.
But it wasn't over. I would return the house within 7 days so I had to find a place to live asap. My dear friend of course offered her house but it was way too far from work. We found a place and moved in in 3 days. I just wanted to get the hell out of that bad chi house. I could feel my energy getting so negative. We were also living in fear of the thugs coming back and breaking in and dkf had to stay in the apartment night and day to prevent that from happening. I was also fearful for his safety as he was there alone when I went to work and could not speak Chinese. It was so nice to move out to our larger, more modern apartment. But it was not over yet. On Friday we had to meet with the landlord and cop to return the apartment and for her inspection. This is where it got ugly..again. She brought her "property manager," an evil Chinese lady who spoke really good English. Together, she and Jessica picked at every imperfection in the apartment, really ridiculous shit. But there was no winning. The same cop was on her side. dkf got feisty. He said in English to Jessica, "you are a f---in cunt and need to die." Her prop manager, "Noko" translated to Jessica then started fighting with dkf in English. Then I had it in with her. I told her there was something called freedom of speech in America, and she said this is not America. I said that people can say whatever the hell they want. I told dkf to take a picture of Noko, then she threatened to sue saying one could not take a picture of a nonconsenting person. She said she would have her lawyer friend sue him. She tried to convince the cop to "teach dkf a lesson about respecting chinese law." Total psychobitch. Eventually we made dkf delete the photo of her but thanks to his awesome file recovery program, we were able to recover the deleted photo. We will be posting her foto and her wrongdoings on the SH expat forums forevermore. After a couple hours of arguing and BS, we signed another document then left.
But it still was not over. On Sunday we were to meet with the landlord and cop at the cop station to tally up the grand total and for her to refund my balance. As I predicted, things again did not go smoothly. dkf stood across the street to try to take discreet fotos of Jessica so we could post her fotos online. Except she saw him. We spent another few hours at the station, from her nickeling and diming me on my utility bills to her demanding dkf delete her fotos. He eventually did and showed his camera fotos to the cop to verify they were deleted. But then she began speaking SH-nese to the cop and it seemed like she was going to ask the cop to do something more drastic. We hurriedly left to avoid further confrontation.
But it wasn't over. Notice a theme? Minutes later, the cop calls me and demands I go back to the station b/c Jessica wanted to verify the photos were deleted, not just the cop. I insisted to the cop that the fotos were gone as he had seen but he said we had to go back, or I was on my own with the sec. deposit. He threatened me. Then we began to get paranoid about whether they could do something to dkf, prosecute him, confiscate his stuff, etc and dkf didn't want to go back. But I was just hoping she would verify the photos were gone then we leave. dkf made me call the cop back to give him a hard time, to insist Jessica pay for the taxi ride because we were only heading back there b/c of her. The cop yelled at me pretty distastefully, saying it's all OUR fault for causing this, not hers, I was not respecting him, I was being unreasonable, you can't take pics without people's consent, I have to go back. So we did. She checked the fotos but before we left, she and I got into another yelling match. She said something about me not trusting the cop, and I said, I don't trust you! And she said she didn't trust me. She said, I can't believe it has come to this. I said I couldn't believe it either all b/c of a washer. Then she said, yah I will buy you some new clothes and I said I don't see any new clothes on me! The cop then put his arm around her and took her away. He even called her an endearing name. I totally think they're sleeping together. Anyways, she is supposed to wire me my money within the next 3 days but chances are, I will never see it. At this point, it isn't even about the money. It's about reclaiming my peace of mind and positive chi.
God, I hope it's over.
This past month, I've been nervous, anxious, low energy, cranky, depressed, worried and unhappy and my chi is black. All because of having to deal with this sociopathic, mentally ill woman named Jessica Wen. I'm actually more angry at her posse, the ones that enable her to do such horrible things to expats. She can only do the things she does because there are people who support her and people who don't fight against her. We found info on her online and she has done this to other expats before. I know we can't stop her from continuing to do this to future expats, but at the very least, she didn't get everything she wanted out of me. And I made her work a little for her money. I have been emailing her info and part of our story to different expat groups hoping people can spread the word. Expats here often take this kind of abuse, thinking, oh, it's just China. NO! One thing I have learned about myself since I've moved to SH is how much I detest passivity. People need to stand up against what is wrong, even if it has always been that way.
Let's hope our next landlord is kind. I hope yours is too.
Peace out.
Many expats don't get the local Chinese flavor of life because they are quite insulated with their company packages, ayis, drivers, unlimited budgets, nice apartments they don't have to search and bargain for, English-speaking reps and never having to deal with sociopathic and assholey locals here who scam and bully you left and right. But one thing I am grateful for in our time here in SH is that we did get an authentic Chinese experience and this will make one fine chapter of my autobio someday. I have seen the depravity that exists in humankind, and let me tell you, it is not pretty.
I am at the tail-end of a 30+days debacle with the landlord from hell. Mind you, I have had some pretty bad landlords in the past, as I was recalling yesterday while reflecting on the situation. The question is, do I attract bad landlords, do they attract me, or do I just do very poor screening of landlords when I look for places to live? Most likely the third, I would say. But perhaps a little bit of the first 2 too.
As anyone I spoke with knows when I was apartment hunting, when I first saw the apartment, I loved it. dkf and I had just broken up and I wanted a calm, soothing place to come home to, to do my work, to enjoy the nice Fall weather. I wanted a nice feminine apartment in the French Concession, which was my favorite area in SH. When I met Jessica Wen, I knew something wasn't quite right, that she was extremely inflexible, almost OCD, picky, neurotic, overbearing, bossy, not open to any negotiation and cheaper than hell. But I ignored that instinct, or those judgment calls and decided I liked the apartment enough to tolerate her on an occasional basis. That was, until my washer broke over a month ago.
I called her to let her know the washer broke and the war began. She refused to fix it, would not let me deduct repair fees from my rent, accused me of breaking it on purpose, said it was not her responsibility as a landlord to fix it, did not fix and deal with the situation for over 30 days and mentally and verbally abused me and any of my friends that advocated for me. She was a nightmare. So 30 days later, the Whirlpool guy finally comes and decides the washer is unfixable. This angers her and she becomes more abusive and then threatening and dangerous. She verbally makes an agreement with me that if I move out at the end of the month, she will deduct one month's rent from my huge security deposit and refund the balance to me. She leaves.
But it wasn't over. An hour later, the real nightmare begins. Without warning, she comes back with 4 thugs to intimidate me and threaten me in order to get her rent money. I took the advice of my SH-nese colleague to withhold this month's rent until she resolved the washer issue; that was what sent her over the edge. She wanted her money BAD. She responded alright. Stupid me, I let them in thinking the group of people were perhaps the neighbor's friends. After I opened the door, I realized it was a throng of people including the landlord and they began following me to my front door and surrounding me. I began shouting, What do you want? Why are you here? Jessica then said she wanted her rent money. I said, didn't we already agree to that earlier? She said, well I change my mind. I told dkf who was inside the apartment what was happening. He then ran out, to where they were standing and shouted, "Go away! I will call the police!" and we both called 110. The police eventually came but were totally ineffective and scolded me and told me to pay rent. I tried to explain the situation but they were all Shanghainese and I wasn't and my Chinese just isn't elaborate enough to advocate or argue effectively. The arguing continued, the thugs continued to berate me, and eventually the cops told me I had to go down to the police station to file a report. I knew I needed a native Chinese speaker to go down there with me b/c I would not be able to explain my situation well. I frantically called my friend's lawyer friend, and my other 2 Chinese friends. I stalled as long as I could but the cops were becoming impatient. The cops eventually left and the thugs were outside waiting for me to go to the police station with them. Eventually, my dear friend's bro and his gf show up and I quickly explain the situation to him as we walk to the station. My other friend meets us at the station. And much later in the evening, my dear friend shows up to support me. It was the worst 7 hours of my life. The way disputes are dealt with in China is that police don't really do anything or mediate, they allow the two disputing parties to hash it out til both people agree, even if it takes all day. The one that is worn down quicker gives in. Though I was still in my pj's, had not eaten ALL day, was tired, worn out and traumatized, I was not willing to give up. We were at that station for 7 hours and bless my friends' hearts, they stuck by me the whole time. The main cop, Lt. Zhu, this asshole who clearly had a thing for my flirty landlord, wrote out a revised contract that would supercede the original one. By the time we signed it, it was around 8pm. I think I left my house around noon that day. My head hurt for 2 days thereafter.
But it wasn't over. I would return the house within 7 days so I had to find a place to live asap. My dear friend of course offered her house but it was way too far from work. We found a place and moved in in 3 days. I just wanted to get the hell out of that bad chi house. I could feel my energy getting so negative. We were also living in fear of the thugs coming back and breaking in and dkf had to stay in the apartment night and day to prevent that from happening. I was also fearful for his safety as he was there alone when I went to work and could not speak Chinese. It was so nice to move out to our larger, more modern apartment. But it was not over yet. On Friday we had to meet with the landlord and cop to return the apartment and for her inspection. This is where it got ugly..again. She brought her "property manager," an evil Chinese lady who spoke really good English. Together, she and Jessica picked at every imperfection in the apartment, really ridiculous shit. But there was no winning. The same cop was on her side. dkf got feisty. He said in English to Jessica, "you are a f---in cunt and need to die." Her prop manager, "Noko" translated to Jessica then started fighting with dkf in English. Then I had it in with her. I told her there was something called freedom of speech in America, and she said this is not America. I said that people can say whatever the hell they want. I told dkf to take a picture of Noko, then she threatened to sue saying one could not take a picture of a nonconsenting person. She said she would have her lawyer friend sue him. She tried to convince the cop to "teach dkf a lesson about respecting chinese law." Total psychobitch. Eventually we made dkf delete the photo of her but thanks to his awesome file recovery program, we were able to recover the deleted photo. We will be posting her foto and her wrongdoings on the SH expat forums forevermore. After a couple hours of arguing and BS, we signed another document then left.
But it still was not over. On Sunday we were to meet with the landlord and cop at the cop station to tally up the grand total and for her to refund my balance. As I predicted, things again did not go smoothly. dkf stood across the street to try to take discreet fotos of Jessica so we could post her fotos online. Except she saw him. We spent another few hours at the station, from her nickeling and diming me on my utility bills to her demanding dkf delete her fotos. He eventually did and showed his camera fotos to the cop to verify they were deleted. But then she began speaking SH-nese to the cop and it seemed like she was going to ask the cop to do something more drastic. We hurriedly left to avoid further confrontation.
But it wasn't over. Notice a theme? Minutes later, the cop calls me and demands I go back to the station b/c Jessica wanted to verify the photos were deleted, not just the cop. I insisted to the cop that the fotos were gone as he had seen but he said we had to go back, or I was on my own with the sec. deposit. He threatened me. Then we began to get paranoid about whether they could do something to dkf, prosecute him, confiscate his stuff, etc and dkf didn't want to go back. But I was just hoping she would verify the photos were gone then we leave. dkf made me call the cop back to give him a hard time, to insist Jessica pay for the taxi ride because we were only heading back there b/c of her. The cop yelled at me pretty distastefully, saying it's all OUR fault for causing this, not hers, I was not respecting him, I was being unreasonable, you can't take pics without people's consent, I have to go back. So we did. She checked the fotos but before we left, she and I got into another yelling match. She said something about me not trusting the cop, and I said, I don't trust you! And she said she didn't trust me. She said, I can't believe it has come to this. I said I couldn't believe it either all b/c of a washer. Then she said, yah I will buy you some new clothes and I said I don't see any new clothes on me! The cop then put his arm around her and took her away. He even called her an endearing name. I totally think they're sleeping together. Anyways, she is supposed to wire me my money within the next 3 days but chances are, I will never see it. At this point, it isn't even about the money. It's about reclaiming my peace of mind and positive chi.
God, I hope it's over.
This past month, I've been nervous, anxious, low energy, cranky, depressed, worried and unhappy and my chi is black. All because of having to deal with this sociopathic, mentally ill woman named Jessica Wen. I'm actually more angry at her posse, the ones that enable her to do such horrible things to expats. She can only do the things she does because there are people who support her and people who don't fight against her. We found info on her online and she has done this to other expats before. I know we can't stop her from continuing to do this to future expats, but at the very least, she didn't get everything she wanted out of me. And I made her work a little for her money. I have been emailing her info and part of our story to different expat groups hoping people can spread the word. Expats here often take this kind of abuse, thinking, oh, it's just China. NO! One thing I have learned about myself since I've moved to SH is how much I detest passivity. People need to stand up against what is wrong, even if it has always been that way.
Let's hope our next landlord is kind. I hope yours is too.
Peace out.
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