an x'mas wish.

today i saw my little orphans again. it seems that despite the shanghai cold, they are snuggled up warm in their bundles of foreign knock off jackets and coats. they were happy as ever. i wonder if they anticipate us coming to see them every month. they do seem to recognize us. and us them. their happy smiles just light up the dark corridors of the orphanage. oh how they clamour for love and attention. they fight to hold our hands, to hug them and to carry them. and when we do, they have the biggest grins. sometimes they even get feisty and rough with their little friends. i always remind them to be nice to their brothers and sisters and to praise them when they look after each other. because that is all they've got. there is a sad story today. a little girl, about 9 or 10 years of age was an unfamiliar face. she looked mature, serious and smart. i asked her how long she had been there. 1 month. did she like it there? it's OK. where did she come from? i did not understand what she said b/c my chinese stinks. (i later learned she came from the police department). and after we left the orphanage, the coordinator told us her story. her mother is in prison for embezzlement. has a 10 year sentence, has finished just 1 year. her father just passed away. her grandparents would not take her in. and her mother refused to sign papers allowing her to be adopted. so the police department took her in, let her sleep and live there for the past year. her job was to guard the gate at the P.D. this was of course against regulations. so the P.D. had to relocate but at the new site the head person decided she could not stay with them anymore, so they sent her to the orphanage. should he feel guilty that he just sent her to this sad little place? i sure hope so. the little girl's complaint was that at the orphanage, she could not get schooling and read her books because the other orphans destroyed her books, which was true b/c they are tear-happy. and here she was, stuck in this place, a brave yet scared little girl. and when the volunteer asked if any of these kids could get adopted, the worker said, "who the hell would want THESE kids?" so sad. and a volunteer who went up the 3rd fl where the infants stayed said that the room where kids are usually tied to their beds was locked shut, with the sound of many many children in there, and there was a foul odor emanating. there has been a h1n1 scare lately and my guess is they quarantine any sick little ones in there. she said there were alot fewer kids in the room that they were allowed to visit.

to the children there, may your x'mas and new year's be joyous. i will remember the grasp of your little hands around my fingers, as i twirl and dance with you, causing giggles of delight and smiles on your face, as you sing the songs from old dvd's that you've heard oh so many times. may love and peace be with you..til i see you again.