Pinky, are you pondering what i'm pondering?

do we fit?
what should i do?
should i be me
and you you?
a bit confusing
or so it seems
are we just friends
what does it all mean?
taking a break
without breaking
if this is a dream
it's time for awaking.

window shopping.

u can get a breeze and flick someone off at the same time!

love the wee wee!

cool art on stationary

Welcome to the French cafe. What can I serve you?

Taiyuan Lu-the street I live on.

the front gate

no nails were used to hold this dresser together. all interlocking pieces of wood only.

Here is my French cafe studio. The landlord said it is an old Spanish building. Either way, there is something quite charming about euro architecture.

funny things around the house!

the largest chinese calligraphy paintbrush i have ever seen!

i love rubber duckies, especially when they take on whole different personas!

aminals in the city!

saw a very cute and spiny baby frog trying its best to hop up the stair into the grass after a rainy day!

the largest catfish i had ever seen. i spotted it in an aquarium inside a seafood restaurant. that's just cruel!

there's asahi, in one of her favorite sleeping positions!

The Chinese say the darndest things!

So today, as I was strolling along the street, getting air and enjoying the Fall weather near my friends' house where I have been staying, I walked by a massage parlour. 48 rmb/an hour! I could not resist, as I always can't when there are cheap massage deals. I walked in and the masseuse, who I later learned happened to be a Chinese medicinal doctor, and has been doing this for 9 years, proceeded to work his magic. I do have to say, he was the first male masseuse I have had in Shanghai. Most masseuses are petite Chinese women with very strong hands who hail from very far away. So he started to point out my problem areas with precision and proceeded to educate me about where my chi flow and muscles and tendons and other terms I did not understand were not healthy, other problems I had, how I needed to exercise more, how he personally concocts an herbal remedy he can harvest only once a year that people in Japan regularly purchase from and consult with him about, how he makes house calls and most of his customers are regulars and Japanese, how I should come back and get not just a massage but probably a dose of his magic remedy, how all the stress and strain ends up on my hips (which is my problem area), how I probably sit at the computer too much, and the line of the day: Even though you are fat, people assume you are sturdy/hardy but you get tired and ill too. That's like a double whammy. Not only was he saying I was fat, he was saying I had poor stamina. Even if both were true, the Chinese do not bother to sugarcoat anything. They really say it like it is! I wasn't even offended, I actually just chuckled, probably because I am so used to it, growing up in a blunt Chinese family, where they tell cruel truths to your face on a daily basis. I also found it amusing how complete strangers seem to feel like they owe you the truth out of politeness. Anyway, his name was Number 18, as masseuses have no names, just numbers, sorta like a college student or prison inmate. It was a great massage. I am still up the air about whether I prefer a male or female masseuse. The women almost seemed to have stronger hands. I definitely enjoyed the Chinese medical education piece he offered, which was a first. I spent the rest of the afternoon exploring the streets of Changning, smiling at old people, middle-aged men and children, who seemed to be the 3 primary demographics around these parts. I was starving and had a hard time finding a local eatery, then settled on what I later learned was a chain restaurant, sat down, tried to order beef noodle soup which they didn't have, so settled on fried vermicelli and pork chop noodle soup. It was nice and oily too. I got my new house keys duplicated. I did some shopping in a local market, was followed around and outnumbered by store personnel, one of whom said she would bring my basket to the front but ended up kicking it there, purchased some goods for the week, then continued on my long neighborhood walk back home. Then I did laundry and hang dried my clothes while smelling a neighbor's BBQ. I do have to mention today the weather was unusually nice. It is definitely Autumn here in Shanghai. The air was crisp, the sun was the kind that lasted all afternoon, there was a gusty fresh cool wind blowing, leaves were rustling, the young and old and middle-aged were out playing cards and marjhong, doing taichi, stretching, strolling, smiling, shopping, and sneaking out without parental supervision. It was truly a nice day.

moped flashbacks.

it has been about 5 years since i have gotten on a moped. i genuinely forgot how fun it was! the last time i got on one of those things was in hawaii in '04 before i left for internship. in fact, i used to zip around town with my white moped til i got in an accident then sorta got PTSD from it. but i was fine riding on the back of one with my bf at the time. in china it's a whole different story. not only do you ride at your own risk, if u sit on the back of one, same story, in fact worse b/c u are not the commander of your ship! the streets were really empty today so it was a good day to ride for the first time in SH but we nearly hit a bicyclist who yelled at us for getting so close! the moped's battery was half dead so we were kinda cruising on neutral. now i want to get one again b/c they are relatively cheap here and so convenient to zip around town. the only issue is other vehicles really don't care if they hit you. sometimes it seems they see smaller objects on the road as bowling pins! plus is there moped insurance around here? and my health insurance sorta sucks. ride at your own risk!

Misadventures at Mandy's.

1. today i activated the smoke alarm because i could not figure out how to turn on the stove without only turning on the gas (with no ensuing fire) and nearly gassed both of us to death (me and asahi). so i used work papers to fan the smoke alarm so it would stop. thank god it did, b/c i would not know who to call. and i was finally able to use the stove.
2. for the life of me, i cannot figure out how to use the washing machine consistently. all the buttons are in chinese. i have used it three times already. the first 2 times it worked but today i went to check on my clothes and found it sitting in water and the machine off. so i pushed the same 4 buttons in different combos, heard the washer begin to drain out the water then felt my feet get wet. i looked down and saw that the water drained OUTSIDE of the washer. i let it do that then began pushing the buttons again to figure out which button SPINS the clothes. finally, non-sopping wet clothes.
3. asahi freaks out with the sound of firecrackers. it is National Holiday today but the celebration started yesterday. celebration meaning tons of firecrackers, lanterns, major streets closed, less traffic i might add, guards not at their shacks (esp. when you need them to open up gates). last night as i was walking her, she began freaking out. first she tried to pull me back towards home but she had not done no. 1 or 2 yet. so i walked her the other direction. i walked her around the block but when we got back into the complex, she started running really fast then suddenly darted off towards home but since she's stronger than i am, i lost hold of her leash. good thing she ran straight home and there were no cars. poor asahi. today she crawled under the dining room table when the firecrackers went off again.
4. asahi also puked up yellow bile today. i was rather worried and tried to comfort her. she seems OK now.
5. a few days ago, i was out much later than i anticipated. asahi had not been walked for 1o hours! what a horrible dog sitter i am! thank goodness mandy's neighbor was able to back me up. i felt awful about the whole thing. asahi was SO happy to see me when i came home!
6. i forgot to get the house wi-fi password, a psych scoring program password, mandy's home address, and the location of xerox paper before mandy left. thank goodness i am able to connect with her via email. i so don't think of everything before someone leaves their house with me. with a little snooping, i was able to find some of the info!
7. momentary beer crisis: i could not find the beer opener and there were 2 Coronas in the fridge. after digging through many drawers, i found the wine bottle opener. whew!
8. i still don't know where the pepper and scissors are.
9. i did figure out how to turn on the TV and the pirated satellite (although i was given instructions before they left, i am techno-tarded). there were a couple times the screen wanted me to enter some password but i just pushed a bunch of buttons til it went away. it is so nice to be able to watch English channels! i didn't touch the other 2 remotes b/c i don't want to mess anything up.
1o. i enjoyed a nice massage yesterday with a friend down the street. i have enjoyed 2 nice meals down the street as well. basically, where i am staying is loaded with great eateries and massage parlours within a 3 minute walk.
11. the people who live in this complex are afraid of big dogs. i tried to reassure the woman who darted into our building after seeing asahi approach that she does not bite but she looked so fearful as she hid behind a wall. even when we walk along the street, people go out of their way to walk as far as away as possible from asahi. i never understood that cuz i just love canines so much. the guard however, likes her, even though she didn't seem all too interested in him.
12. it has been a long time since i've picked up dog poo. still warm and squishy. :P
13. the inside of the fridge smells like something might be rotten. but i don't want to toss anything they might want. so i'll let the ayi take care of it. :P
14. they might be back a day early due to the typhoons. hopefully this place will still be in one piece!
15. 6 puddles of puke!!

SIS.

Single in Shanghai (SIS).

It's a different experience being single in Shanghai. I think in general you are more open to experiences because essentially, it's all about you now. Well it would be the same wherever I lived, I suppose. There is something quite liberating about doing whatever the hell I please and not having to worry about how it will affect my partner. Of course, I am still accountable to myself for whatever consequences ensue, but I've lived with these consequences for the last 32 years and I'm still alive. They have made me who I am.

I have been having a ball, hanging out with different people, making new friends, living in different areas of Shanghai. I have eaten bullfrogs, which taste surprisingly like codfish. I have joined a drinking group with a running problem and then pissed in a gutter on the freeway at the "pitstop." If I did not have to work and find an apartment right now, I would have embarked on a random 10 day journey to Vietnam with 2 people I hardly know. In a couple weeks I will be presenting for the first time internationally in front of Chinese professionals who want to improve the state of mental health services in China.

I will be able to see Shanghai through open and different eyes. Not to say I could not have the same experience if I were in a relationship. Plenty of couples have awesome experiences. But it will be different now for me b/c the spontaneity level is about to go way up, which always makes for more stories to tell. For me, that's what it's all about in life. If it makes for a good story, it's worth doing.

I'm about to fall in love with Shanghai in a whole new way. And I hope in the meanwhile, I fall in love with everyone I meet and the joys of being me, as a single, independent expat woman braving this Chinese NYC from circumstances unforeseen.

KTV!

hey now, you're a rock star!

45 rmb a person for all you can eat food (horrible tasting, i might add) and 3 full sing-your-heart-out hours at PartyWorld was well worth it! it was my first KTV experience in shanghai. rock on! between a swede singing chinese and racist swede english songs, an ABC mumbling through chinese songs, a chinese singing english, and an american rapping eminem, not to mention the Queen duet by the swede and american, it was quite a crowd!