brain bomb

been working all day
and all night
can't get my work
out of my sight.
i need a break
haven't seen sunlight
a stroll would be great
but it's way past midnight.
would love some fresh air
hand in hand with my man
except his ETA is unknown
i am not the chinese government's fan.
i have a brain bomb
implosions abound
my neurons have melted
the firings make no sound.

paris is a ferris wheel.

if paris is a ferris wheel, i want to ride.

the niece.

marissa. she can sit without support now. gosh, i can't wait to meet her. i think there are triplets in that house. she looks exactly like her bro and dad.

you're cute
we haven't met
once i see your smile
i know it i will never forget.
your cheeks are like bubbles
clouds in the sky
may you never stop growing
and asking why.
it's a crazy world
but someone's got to live in it
but you will always be loved
this don't you forget.
someday we will meet
and you'll wonder who i am
but the moment you were born
was when my love for you began.

thought of the day

man, i love my dkf. someday, i'm gonna marry him. :)

Lost and unfound.

this weekend absolutely sucked. SUCKED.

it happened to be dkf and my 2 year anniversary. i went shopping at Qi Pu Lu with jingjing, milan and her bf, hoping to get a new coat, socks, scarves, shoes, whatever made me want to empty my wallet. this shopping area is notorious for pickpockets. since it's approaching chinese new year, thieves are out collecting money for their trips home. milan warned me in the morning about the pickpockets on this road. i paid heed but not enough heed.

pineapple sticks. jingjing wanted a second one but ran out of small bills. so i whipped out my wallet, got 3 rmb from the coin pocket and put the wallet back in my purse. we were busy enjoying our pineapple sticks, and daydreaming of ethan hawke in Before Sunrise and Before Sunset. i am the most unobservant and non paranoid person in the world. it wasn't until we were paying for dinner hours later (after gabbing about ethan hawke still) that i reached in my purse and could not find my wallet. i knew i had been robbed and it was when we were by the pineapple stand. i was mega-pissed because i had my social security card in there (don't ask me why), my CA driver's license (again, don't ask me why), 2 credit cards, SH library card (which is worth ALOT), my student ID (which i still use for student discounts), good luck pendants and cards my grandma and mom gave me, my Enjoy card, and tons of cash (i was out shopping, after all). i really just wanted my SS card back the most. i wanted to both cry and choke the living daylights out of the thief. i mostly wanted to choke myself. how could i not be more paranoid, not be more observant, not make sure my purse was in front of me, not notice the pickpocket? i was warned for god sake! it was Qi Pu Lu!! we tried to call the police dept who was sorta useless then went home where i proceeded to call buy.com to cancel and reissue another card, bank of china, and did research on what to do if your SS card is stolen and how to replace it. apparently there's nothing u can do. you can open up a credit line with the SSN and my name. it's out there, circulating in this godforsaken city. i am just grateful there was no account activity on either credit cards. jingjing and i decided to post up reward ads. she wrote it in chinese for me, offering 1000rmb (alot for a poor thief), and asking for help in finding a wallet I had lost (not stolen) with important cards in it. she went back the next morning, and since she could not post posters anywhere, talked to the pineapple vendor, illegally posted up one poster, and alerted the street sweepers who would announce it. it's been 2 days. no word. people tell me it is likely the thief just wanted cash, and probably threw it away after taking that. and even if they found my SS card, they would not be sophisticated enough to know what it is and apply for a new credit line. i am hoping the thief was greedy enough to keep the fairly nice wallet, look thru the cards to see what else he/she could use or sell, but still keep it and then see the ad the next morning and think, hey, i could get more money! but they may be scared of repercussions, like me calling the cops. likely, they just threw the thing away.

it happens to all of us. we all get robbed one way or another. i am so freakin bummed. not to mention the hassle of...everything.

it can only get better.

The Tails of Once Stray Cats.

all species need love.
big or small.
black or white.
furry or hypoallergenic.

this weekend, i spent the morning giving love to furry orphan kitties. some were scratchy, some were shy, some were loving, some were scared, some were healthy, some were lucky to be alive. but all were worth loving. i haven't really been around cats in my life, mostly because growing up we mostly had aquarium animals like fish and turtles. in high school, we got Lucky from the OC Shelter and had dogs for the first time. the first pug entered my life in graduate school and that's when i knew i would be a dog person for life. when i was living with dkf back home, he inherited his sister's cat, who i named Penelope. she was one of the coolest cats i had ever known, and one of the few. she's the first cat that made me begin to appreciate the idiosyncrasies and doglike-ness of cats.

we took a 45 minute van ride out to Bao Shan, on the outskirts of shanghai on sunday morning. when we got there, we entered a shack house in the middle of the countryside, right behind a military facility. there we encountered 4-5 stray dogs that were taken in by the owners but were originally strung out to die, said the owners. i was sad that we were not able to play with them b/c most did not seem socialized. there were 2 pekingnese and some larger dogs. then we entered the cat area. there were at least 100 cats there, we were told. the man who lived there began taking in cats but could not resist taking in more and more of them. so he ended up with a patio, 3 rooms and a loft full of cats. many were so dirty, a contrast to the neat freak nature of cats. most had colds and were sneezing the whole time, with snot on their noses. they loved to bask in the sun, their eyes closed, their bodies sprawled out, smiling. it was so adorable. many crawled up on people's laps and looked right at home. some scratched me when i tried to pet them or groom them or just wanted to sharpen their claws. some ran away as i approached. they came in all different shapes and sizes and species and had different faces. they each had their own character. if each cat could tell his/her story, what an interesting book that would make..The Tails of Once Stray Cats. oh but it smelled so awful there. their blankets and beds were soiled and reeked of feces and cat spray. the floors and walls were drenched with urine and cat spray. there were feces scattered. throw up here and there. some cats had such rotten teeth, there was yellow puss foaming out of their mouths. some cats had worms that covered up their poopholes. but they had such amazing eyes. one had a blue and green eye. and my favorite cat cuz he's my hero..a cat with nerve damage that would walk a little bit in a crooked path then fall over and do it all over again. he was such a trooper! SCAA, Second Chance Animal Aid, actually pays for the medical bills, provides food, and toys and supplies to these cats. they have different projects in the area. It is a private, non-profit organization committed to protecting and improving the health and welfare of companion animals through education, health care, advocacy, outreach, adoption and the promotion of foster care as an alternative approach to traditional shelters. We believe it is the right of every companion animal to have a safe, healthy life in a loving home. read more about SCAA.

the owners are amazing too. one man and one woman lived there. they had no hot water. only his room has heat. it was freezing there too. the woman spent the entire time handwashing the dirty blankets and linens because their washer was too small. you do not know what true cold is until you have washed your hand in cold shanghai water. it literally throbs and is very painful. and to think, she does laundry all day with her bare hands, which looked weathered and red. SCAA is now fundraising to purchase an industrial size washer so they can wash the blankets more readily. there were too many to count and all so dirty. bless their hearts for taking in these animals that would have died otherwise. although they don't get much human contact besides volunteer visits, at least they have a home and the company of so many brothers and sisters.

thank you kitties for touching my life. i hope i touched yours too, even for a second. you will stay in my heart. i hope to see you next time.

random thoughts.

so i'm starting a new blahg called Dietry, which will be a diary for my diet. i wanna start keeping track of what i eat and how much i eat for each meal, how much water i drink, and how much exercise i am getting. plus i wanna keep track of the other "end" of things, if u catch my drift.

why do people stare and stare when they see a chinese ayi with a white or half white baby, as if by staring long and hard enough, the baby will turn chinese and it will make more sense?

i was having dinner with my language partner and we were conversing in english. the waiter comes up and asks if one of us is not chinese. sarah points to me and says i'm american. the waiter asks, is she japanese or korean? i say in chinese, "i'm actually chinese-american." then he says in english, "nice to meet you."

ok, i now say goodnight to planet earth.

2 years at 2am.

in case you can't read it, it says, "you leave fingerprints..on my heart."

this will be the 2nd year in a row that dkf and I will be spending our anniversary apart. in fact, we have yet to spend a single one together! it was a tough year for the two of us but i am super-jazzed and grateful that we have spent 2 years of our lives together as boyfriend-girlfriend. here's to many more. and here are some drawings i did as an anniversary gift. love you baby. can't wait til you come home.

kids say the darndest things

i got burgers in my nose!
your hair is broken! (referring to my short bangs)
read, please! (impatient as i was just staring at the cool pictures in her storybook)
kitty starts with a C of course.

some of chloe-speak. i think some of this was just my imagination too!

It's Chloe time!

loungin'

my milky's coming!

cowin' around

frog stance

snake!

snaking around with nana!

the snake takes a bite outta nana!

squirmy little snake

beware of the snake!

froggie!

pretty pink tea set. oolong, anyone?

skippity do dah

striking a move

I had the privilege to spend some girl time with Miss Chloe, a Chinese/American princess rock star! Not only was she the cutest little 3 y.o. wasian with the biggest persuasion in all of Shanghai, she was a rock star and dancer, could impersonate any animal, could do the tummy roll bellydance, knew all her letters and numbers and could count to 30, and could get herself into her nighties all by herself! I nearly ate her too but really just wanted to take her home. Most importantly, she made me all broody all over again!